Is there somebody who still believes in love?

I really wonder if this is what men think women want? Let's be honest here, I loved Twilight as much as the next girl and it definitely had something to do with a certain shirtless werewolf but there is a difference between movie stars and real men. This is not the kind of man I'd like to take home to Mom and Dad. So I wonder, do the real men still exist? I'd like to compile the best of the best in this post. The best of the losers. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

I created a profile on a free dating website. This is where my research shall begin. I'll even make this more of a "what not to do" and a "top ten list" all at the same time. Many thanks to plentyoffish.com and the losers of Westchester county for the laughs and pictures. If you know one of these guys, woops! Maybe they should be more careful with what they put out on cyberspace.

Top Ten Things That Will Not Attract Any Sane Woman:

1. The Shirtless Cell Phone Picture.

How low are your pants?!?! This is the picture you use to advertise wanting a relationship? Looks to me like you are looking for something but I don't think it's dating.

Nice Backpack?

Ummm... Sorry. I don't think this is going to work out. I only date guys with iphones.

What do you even say to this guy? I think we have the same cup size.

2. Incorrect Spelling and Grammar/Laziness.

"besides work im trying 2 finish school 2 get a software engineering degree love 2 go dancing out 2 eat and most of all the beach die hard football and baseball fan played both in high school if u want 2 know more ask me"

To. Two letters. Not so hard to type. 2 makes you sound lazy. You couldn't at least attempt to make yourself sound smart? At least if you had substituted your 2's with to I might not have noticed your giant run on sentence. Maybe he was hit in the head with a football in high school?

"CHECK THE PROFILE....NORTY,SPORTY....WAVES IN MY HAIR....COME HERE SHORTYLOL......... I PRAY TO GOD B4 I LEAVE THAT MY UNBORN SEED WILL HAVE A MIND NOT TO FOLLOW BUT A HEART TO LEAD......just a hard working dude thats just what u need in your life...females always say they need a good man in they life...well what u waiting for,holla at me"

I don't think I even need to comment on this one. Do us all a favor and keep your unborn seeds to yourself.

3. The "Hey Sexy" Message.

Everyday my inbox gets a message that says "Hey Ma You So Sexi." Uh, thanks but no thanks. I appreciate that you think I'm "sexi" but I'm not anyone's ma and I sure as hell won't be yours. 

4. The "Pretty Boy".

"Ladies its time to put to rest the "duck face" pose! It doesn't work for any girl no matter how pretty you are, it actually makes a pretty girl less attractive...your welcome."

1) You're not an attractive guy but you are a guy who has nicer brows than I do. That's just an issue on it's own. This makes you a "Pretty Boy."

2) I may agree with your duck pose statement but your muscle show off picture is just as bad as the duck pose.

3) Correct Grammar makes an average guy more attractive... YOU'RE Welcome.

5. Drunken Pictures with your "bros".

6.The Shirtless Cell Phone Picture Without Your Face In It.

This proves you have nice nipples? You can't see the abs and you can't see his face. What is this accomplishing other than making me laugh?

"I love to work out but dont necessarily date woman who do. I am funny and enjoy conversatingwith people who have a good sense of humor. Intelligence is very sexy! I like all kinds of music!

***If you are holding a beer bottle/can or a keg cup and holding out a peace sign LMAO You're probably not for me!!!!!! "

No he doesn't need to date women who work out. Just someone who is naturally skinny and can make a great marinara sauce while she does your laundry! All kinds of music huh? You hear the latest Taylor Swift single? How about Bela Fleck and the Flecktones? Didn't think so. Don't advertise something if it's not true.

7. Ignorance.

Oh yeah! This makes me think we can have a cute house with a white picket fence and 2.5 bathrooms. Definitely should be your main picture on your dating profile.

8. Posting Pictures Of Your More Attractive Friends.

Lets guess which guy is on the dating site? To the guy on the left, you should be advertising yourself. I keep looking at your frat boy friend. Sorry.

9. A Stupid Catch Phrase One Liner.

"B*tches Be Crazy"

1) I agree with the above statement.

2) Just because I agree with it doesn't mean it needs to be on anyone's dating profile. I really don't think this is how to attract sane women. Maybe by posting "B*tches be crazy" he was hoping to land a crazy bitch? Again, this is a list on how to attract sane women not crazy b*tches.

10. Vague Profile Content.

"Call me JD... im all about creating the legacy of my name. Very work oriented and dedicated to being as successful as possible while enjoying the s**t outta every day im here. Work hard, play harder is the phiosophy behind my profession, and also my character. I travel alot for work and get to see some of the great places in the world...occasionally with some of my closest people too!"

1) I believe Jack Daniels created the legacy with that name and what makes you so special that you think you can create a legacy?

2) You could spell "philosophy" but couldn't write "out of" outta is just better? It's not even like "out of" is more letters than "outta".

3) All I got from this is that you might be from the Bronx based on your outta, You are creating a "legacy" with the name JD, You have a job and you like to travel sometimes with your "closest people". Could you have been more vague?

So if this is what the dating world holds for me I think I'll continue to hide out in my apartment until the world outside gets a bit better.