Sunday, September 18, 2011

Why I collect gay men like baseball cards...

Women of the world listen up! I'm about to let you in on a secret women like Liza Minelli have been hiding for years. A girl's best accessory is a gay man! Yeah, I said it. Gay men are awesome. There is so much to learn from them. First of all, they can dress better than you can. I kinda wish there was a little gay midget in my closet dressing me everyday (Why a midget? Because he won't take up too much space in my walk-in closet duh!) My gay friends have always successfully helped me with shopping and dressing. Some of my best outfits come from men who wish they could wear what I can wear. You homos all know you wish you could prance around town in 5 inch loubs... 


Gay men will teach you more about sex than you will ever learn from anyone else? Why?? Because gay men are this strange hybrid. They express emotion like women do but at the same time they are still men and hump everything in a 50 mile radius on grindr. This makes for the perfect combination to get advice from. 



Gay men can dance better than anyone on this planet. I know people are going to argue with me and say things like "Beyonce is one of the greatest dancers of all time!" Well I'mma let you finish on that argument in a second but gay men are the greatest dancers of all time!! Not one of the greatest dancers, they are the greatest dancers. Bitch, where do you think Beyonce gets her dance moves from? Her queer choreographer. Case closed.

For those of you who need a little dance lesson from a man with far more rhythm than you will ever have...




1 comment:

  1. brings back memories; I think we need to make an appearance soon

    ReplyDelete